Journal Entries by NoRulezChris
“It’s the approach, I kinda feel a little Hunter S. Thompson vibe.” Sama Tha/Samanta Hunter – 16th Cousin of Hunter S. Thompson so she says…
January 2023,
Most of the days were spent on my ex’s couch, the mother of my three children. The nights would no longer allow me in the same house that my Son resided in, as my 16-year-old son wanted nothing to do with me at this time. I would travel by bus and train from Boulder to the Denver International Airport to try to rest my eyes as much as good faith would allow. It was cold as hell and my attorney was not letting my throat outta the united knot formed from my pain and confusion. I thought if I carried the cross back to camp the baristas would use the wood for fire. Lest I knew, the camp got transported again from under my feet, just in time to not recognize a soul, besides the Smores I assembled from my fire pit remains.
As an 18-year-old young buck, going from club to club, it seemed easy to land digits. I used to meet a girl almost every time I went out. I worked hard to Peacock my balls so the girls could feel me. Now, I try to speak to a lady in any sort of manner and it feels like Fat Lip all over again.
I wasn’t erotically attracted to the boys I worked with but it seemed to be all I could attract. Even Goodnight Moon’s freshly shaved face was on my plate. It’s okay to cuddle for a minute in front of all these people. I wanted him to open up a little further this time so I gently brushed my furry beard against his fresh face. He leveled up a notch so I’d best not let the cat out of the bag. All these fuckerz are protected by my crews whom most of these sweet hustlers don’t know.
My Secret in Reno was delivered and crossed into the West just like our horse mail got through. The Oakland and Metallica crews were a long shot from Crenshaw and none of them needed to ever meet, if we did, it would be under the sun, open and free with unity on the streets. The Gilman kids were mostly vacated in the scene as I pondered a lobster roll. My bad self wondered how I could reach some old band mates from nearly twenty years ago? People were happy to be emotionally ignited or pissed as usual to see me. Same ol, same ol, hide the wives and daughters, bring your blunt in tighter, and turn the music up. It’s like that. Damn! Then you surprise me with masks hours later. My made-up friends are my favorite and a strong reason I walk through the alleys alone.
With GOD on our side, I assembled as much fresh blood as I could on my tight outfit of Red, Blue, Gold, Purple, Green and black and white pinstripes for the ones still locked up. America is aligned with 55 Stars and Straps with most under the car, purses, and some 22 in the pussies. Watch where you attempt to put that metal detector homie. Eazy peazy through the door to the tanks, watchdog not seen. The game is to be sold. I had the world’s wallets, they just didn’t notice the 20-cent withdrawal on the account. One coin at a time till we have enough sense to wish it all away for dollar bills and thick tire covers.
77 contemplated how many others blaze weed at the airport while also chilling, not flying. Of course, I would blaze before a flight but now I’m spending sufficient time here without flying. I’m blazing the flower and vaping oil next to the TSA and Police. Cheers! We have moved up a level. Now, there is no need to freak out. Just read the books and Goodnight Moon.
The airport music was always old country. I still enjoyed the channel and I believe this music helps keep both workers and customers calm. I sold my train ticket for five bucks so I rode to the airport and back today for 25 cents. My motivation level is dangling in the middle somewhere between limbo and 110%. If I could spend an hour on the street and gain a handful of NoRulez Street Team members, it was well worth it. Doesn’t everyone want a few wild ones screaming that you’re the best… One by one, I will still build a force of progression, still. When I die my energy will be divided and spread everywhere music plays. Then it will combine piece by piece and I will bring a greater change. Kicked out of the Denver International Airport. Lots of crews to the West and South but what about the East Coast?
My ex-girlfriend and her family moved to New Mexico so the DUI setup could have come from her father. Not likely. Probably wasn’t set up by DaBaby either. Just crappy timing and not paying attention plus I shouldn’t have been drinking and driving. Period. I wouldn’t doubt it but again, I’m a bipolar bear and all my ice melted which made me get used to the heat, which makes me colder in the winter, less moisture. Now I’m changing to endure the cold. I awake from my nightmare to live in a different one. Should I write her a real letter…or just keep sleeping through the nightmare inside Deeboes chicken coop.
No diaper equals disasters. I made my own diaper from bundled toilet paper. I’m still recovering. Okay. At least I got some pretty good sleep. I also once made Jim Carrey smile, so I got that going for me. The music at the airport was finally changing. After a few years of first-hand, watching systems get ganked, an airport would be one of the most impressive but I had a major sense of imagination. Sometimes I would talk and talk with no one understanding what I was saying. You know?
I finally got out of the airport for now. The basement of my daughter and her boyfriend was cozy and warm. I lay upon an air mattress on the solid concrete floor. The only thing in the room was the furnace, washer and dryer, and a lamp. It was like staying at the Hyatt Regency, no joke. I could actually lie down and sleep. I had dreamt about a typewriter again, signaling it was time to write a bit.
August 2022,
Fire was coming through my speakers as the neighbor said she couldn’t hear any music. 21 max now came up to 23 on the decibels inside the cave. Stay in the cave and create entries to a successful future, just outside. My CD player was being fed good music but I desired music that was challenging to get from the public library. My heart and ears needed more balance for passion and emotion. I missed not being tracked by potential thieves related to court. My ghosts breathe deeply and exercise my right to freedom and writing freedom backwards, htiaF. I ponder North Carolina and how it has been pivotal on various levels, both being highly emotional and mindful of, also. Feeling demons of fear kneading my skull and begging to be slayed again in North Carolina. Myself, only driving through the Eastern end of this state, trying to forget a few hours away was a life-changing experience. I tried not to stalk or judge, having a firm grasp on the reality of my past was in deep speculation. I had put some of my barely mediocre material into the public before ducking into my cave. Secretly, meeting Jim Carrey only tossed my imaginary Truman Show into another spectrum. Had I been watching the colors get dusty, on my pill case. The personalities were always multiple, now the seeds were planted and I lived, Thank GOD, bonus footage life can be, after an action packed discography. Was it the past deaths or near death experiences, that I counted or that counted me… lucky. Was it strange that Mother and Brother were unreachable and surrounded by other strange elements? Ice cold! Tall Boys… I missed their love and attention, it always came at a price. Had The Phonze dropped in close or was Janis Joplin fucking with my head with the added live tracks to Pearl. Love you, Momma.
I had hoped that August would be my, hunker in the cave and write as much material as I could. Each entry was a different trip demanding my full attention.
I was thinking about money and change. You could focus on small or big or grab it all at every opportunity. I hadn’t seen The Cat since the last accident. People change or they don’t and I had a pocket of change which I got some amusement from while waiting in line. Amusement from The Cat was always the glue that kept me answering his random calls from a Bi Polar Bear with a gritty Murder City background in a backpack which added to his age and grumpy demeanor. I see myself in everyone and everyone, I am one with and within. I would drop a nickel or two, and watch while The Cat picked them up, with a growing smile. After a few drops to the ground to pick up some more dimes and silvery coins The Cat spoke about how it was his lucky day and I giggled in inner joy forgetting about my other roles. In the past I littered, the ground with coins aka small money. Usually, it was blessings and gifts, to bring smiles to humans in the future. I was amazed at what made people smile, what brought about the childlike happiness, a nd small things that make us feel good. I myself had long graduated past small smiles from coins. I rarely write in fact because I speak it already and when I randomly found dollar bills on the ground, I smiled after seeing the denomination. One dollar bills appeared all over my travels, but my dick got hard on the twenties and hundreds I would find on the ground. I once pulled over in traffic to grab a 20 spot floating along a busy one way street in front of Denver’s giant flower pavilion and old cemetery. The Denver Botanic Gardens was created on top of a cemetery. It’s no wonder why the plants grow so well with proper nutrients within the soil. Old coffins would shift in the soil, break upon the digging and relocation of some of the buried bodies. If you take a big whiff at just the right patch of flowers, you can smell the souls.
I didn’t have pennies to throw and I never do except when I quickly exit them from my life as soon as any cashier attempts to hand them to me. Like most of me, I was you and my unique self learning the constant teachings of how to attract money. Small money thats instant and more importantly big money which usually was obtained in the long term by planting seeds or giving away ALMOST everything you have including the Small Change for the future Big Change. I love Tom Waits but time waits for no one. With this outlook, I could nearly always feel rich, knowing I had a solid planter, waterer, and eventually harvester as the secret to everything is a solid botany game. I will take my meds now. “Dont follow me nigga, I’m just a Man” Immortal Technique.
My lessons were learned harder. I survived to spread the news to those that listened. I’m not your stepping stone as my island shifts with slippery rocks and deep murky water with critters in it. Like dogs,s they sensed and gave love and protected me. “Who let the dogs out” – Baha Men. Love you Mom and Dad.
I love cats, always have. The problem I find with cats is that they are scared but can be lured like most animals with a little treat,, love and affection but sometimes this scares them. Jamaican cats are my favorite as they are smart, fearless and love pets and cuddles but like most alley cats they have bugs and critters crawling on them and can be easily transmittable through petting, just like me, but I try to shower often. I would do almost anything for the Cats and Dogs I meet and play with through life. Remember that alley cats and mongrel dogs. You’re safe with me. I envision multiple safe havens for the mistreated animals in both America and Jamaica. Yeah right…I can barely focus long enough to tie the laces on my flip flops.
Running into one of The Killers on the bus was the only reason I had been on the hike out to the Fiddlers. I was proud of his counting and 1600+ consistency which held his head up as well as other Family Folks. I had received my injection and gave my speech to the ears. One of the final pieces of steelwwas as hammered out of an old shield that was guarded for One and All. The last thing I would do was not the next thing but I didn’t give a fuck how fast the library was being built. The director, beneficiaries, producers, and one liners had all come to visit with clipboards, hard hats, and holstered full gats. A public library of sorts should allow proper access to my books, music, and film. Without being famous, how could others be encouraged to breathe my works? Now hiring. Help me to help you, to help us, lectured the wall of shadows.
Beads of sweat poured like a 90 minute writing hot box, I awoke. Realizing my 7 selfs were still in the ringer even without the shadows of yester year. My courage grew as the future King would be born or possibly make an extended visit to all within earshot, as the straps laced tighter, the Family got older and went to sleep until the next awakening.
Word on the street is that they had closed the mill plant, and now the new vehicles were being built, like I had, in circles. It was Jerry Jones” machines clashing with Kroenke devotees. The times had changed and the funerals processed, with or without any form of the Legend of Legends Ninja in my mirror. Don’t ask me to light your candle but I die and might be reborn, keeping the flame lit. I had taken my fair share of shots from angles of snipers catching my attempted collaboration with a dirty car window tragedy. Ghosts had appeared after mental injections were accomplished by parties. Dead flowers lay among the many dead versions of my 77 lyrical manifestations. The reality of everything lived inside my Narcissistic Soul to let the wheels spin, I knew nothing and smoked everything from fake cops to unnecessary props, shwag, chronic bliss,,s and gimmee a clip or a needle to shoot some CDs into my clogged gutter. I was whatever had been rolled whether it was a new member must fight night or catch a werewolf if you can. My lips sang and sank as I sailed with the Largemouth Bass on the sea of cheese with 11 Colorado Master Anglers learning how to quickly hook, la,nd and release Von Millers shark. Time was a tickin, so turn up the bass!
Coming to the conclusion I felt my skills would be best utilized by writing. As much as I considered myself an entertainer, an alcohol salesman, and part of the local folklore community. I am now a writer. The main source of my material could be harnessed and reworked into my other passions and future opportunities. My resume was fat and furious and I delivered it with as much passion as one or twenty-three could muster. My head began to ache, was I just writing down my imaginary dreams?
As a writer,ter I would get back to writing letters to people. I would start with people I met before and go from there. I figured that was enough to tackle for a few years…but as one who gathered wood for fires. You could never have enough for the future…anything, possibly, I imagined. I knew it was all calling me, all that I put out would eventually come together in a good way sending me to the trip’s peak, which is what eye seek. I could imagine a new and improved, fertile NoRulezChris with a cross through my moniker, and exclaim at the top of my horse, DaBaby & Company Cruise, I liked the multi-use of a few of Diamonds words, quickly ducking outta the hall. I bit it off and I was gonna play clear and safe, after all I had a 13-year debt that I was finally off Holiday and ready to pay off. Now my collaborators were off the Legendary path, having already achieved elite status, with King Lions, Authors, Family Men, and others of high regard. Remember botany, Chris shall never forget the advantages of great horticulturists. Stop and smell the flowers as I blaze the chronic trail of enlightenment. I started to pray and began to prey upon my demons of fear. I was rolling strong and thought of Henry Rollins Seeking & Destroying. The sun was a powerful force and that one chic’s Tarot card had the sun fall out and Rise Against all who oppose. The gloves fell off when I was working on space travel many, many years ago. In space I found an eye, I was a star and all I had to do was act naturally. Bam and Steve-O were back running on the same plans, kind of. I longed to be working with my Jackass Brothers and if I could just nail down that interview with Wee Man at Chronic Tacos…I might. To be this dumb your crews got to be tough. Someday in the future I would find my first opportunity to be cool with any crew. My blood spilt out of my reborn virgin self. I licked it back up and moved on having exposed all of my past sexually transmitted diseases in writing. Only 2 in over 40 years and they have disappeared. Baffled by my lack of creating a conceptualized sentence, from a lack of solid sentences, I stopped. I was fuckin writing fortunes for future cookies.
I had missed the crew that I imagined I was a part of, not apart from. My imaginary crews went back for many years including athletes, actors, musicians, writers, and various salesmen. “If I took every girl I knew and put them in a room, they never would match my sweet little imagination.” – Paul Simon.
I had married myself long before anyone heard of The Worm’s wedding to himself, an NBA World Champion. I was enlightening the few and not so proud. I was enlightened by handshakes and signatures from Millionaires and the Ones who were… doin’ the damn thing. Some things can only be learned through flesh and bone experience. I was also affiliated with The Dead. Death has taken me multiple times, through media and life. My name was either a piece not spoken, unless hauntings are your thing, or a laughable memory thrown about loosely in small circles with spirits and flowing. People throughout my adult life were popping up telling me I was dead. Better dead than in jail, I approached the performers. This is not my first circus and damn sure wasn’t my first rodeo, that I worked. I had been nearly trampled by a horse-drawn stagecoach and also fell onto the concrete steps but was saved by my face denting the floor delivering treats and libations to the folks in the front row. The rodeo is in the old homeless shelter where my Purple Box of Mystery stayed and maintained balance in an unknown future. My last visit was intimate, and forged a rocky future that I would barely survive. The death of a Rodeo master was on the rise, had I known… I would have given my Brother everything I had, hugs, kisses, love. Find him women or drugs, whatever I could safely do to keep you here with the rest of us. I long committed to my New Family whose relationship status with Chris was altering. If I knew they would be final words they would have flooded my man with good energy, Soul food, and spine-tingling desires in my heart. Instead, I probably scared him but I hope not. Sometimes explaining can be challenging and confusing. Thank you for all you did for the Team, myself and the endless people you inspired as they climbed. See you someday in Acapulco with the others.
I had hoped so badly that my crazy years were somehow being recorded for future play. Hopefully others would take advantage of opportunities and exploit me as the slut I was for players to benefit. Had everything just been a strange fantasy of a damaged young man? Had I wanted to play, coach, and intern for a higher office all at the same time? I wanted so bad to prove I was the real deal. Prove to whom the question was. Me, Myself & I was dropped by De La Soul, which means Of The Soul.
What goes up unfortunately must reach back down. I analyzed why I could be affected by a scared human. Would my Monster make an appearance after the neighbor poked her face in my front window? Normally the top of her head grazed the bottom of my front window. Now to see her face again was purely wrong. I pulled my diaper off as quickly as possible before the stench filled the room as I ripped, I tried not to drip and into the trash she went.
Twenty-something hours had come and gone as I dreamt the Monster back into hiding like a Canadian Sasquatch on the Run. Snoop was on my mind as I knew of a future Co Lab release with Mr. White on vinyl. I tried not to brag or boast as I favored Fried Chicken the most. I am back on Spotify so now I’m back to getting what I want instantly, like most of us.
Kid Cudi had the spotlight on the 3rd floor next to us. I was disappointed and didn’t want to be the spectacle for a minute of fame. They waited and waited but I didn’t reappear. I was also horribly disappointed with Cudi having both backing tracks playing for the show. I blew a great chance of connecting with someone I love but ultimately I have court. Same with attempting to hike any arches and shiat, as much as I like pretty, fit girls. Watching the Cudster sign autographs throughout the show was rough. He held the microphone completely away from his body while his voice played. I was pissed that coworkers were being cut up into pieces. The Ball Arena was an imploding disaster. Now I gotta create opportunities for myself and anyone with balls to stay anywhere close to me. I dreamt of a fleet of Fleetwood Mac players. I had guessed no one wanted to wake me up quite yet. Thankfully The Walkers spilt the beans, or I don’t know how I would have dealt with my first trip to reality. I miss outer space.
If I were to get outta the Minors anytime soon. I might just be around as a pinch hitter or advisor or stolen base coach. Rickey Henderson was a cool cat, he meant business with his time, whether I had a newborn baby for him to see, or not. Oakland, San Diego, Colorado. I try to be funny but some folks don’t take kindly to an old A-Town kid’s humour. I used to be a thief when I was a youngster. I paid deeply as an adult with a shadow of Coolio’s, It Takes A Thief.
2:22 then 3:11 time was a confusing mystery that I had been taught a sad lesson in Galveston about time from GOD or her adversary. Some time ago…Time is all we have, ha,d or wil havehavel. Die, Die my Clock. As the final hours of the month ticked on, I phonetically put my fate with women into the Big. I accepted I was too much for one gal to handle. Could I love multiple women or was love outta the question? Isn’t there a religion that allows multiple ….nevermind. I don’t believe this is by choice, at least not mine. I surrendered to the Big and have been rolling ever since. The gift & The Curse.
R.I.P. Brother Justin Baer. Let this be known as a tearful reminder to NEVER die.
July,
Filmographies are a way I would spend my time in the past. After so much activity, sometimes I go through phases of watching lots of movies. Studying works of a so-called genius like Stanley Kubrick. Black & White films, The Shining, Clockwork Orange, and everything he produced, wrot,e or directed, I partook in it all as well because I gave him my time and I accepted what he made us. I used to enjoy comedies until I watched them all. John Candy was extra sweet. Anything that I watched in the theater I didn’t include. Movie theaters are magical.
June,
I’m listening to a ton of CD’s from the Boulder Public Library and beyond. I also, have again started listening to albums online. In the past few years, I listened to discographies of many of my favorite bands. I mean, I listened to everything that was released by certain bands, including singles, remixes, compilations…everything that was available whether the songs were new to me or I had heard hundreds of times before. I didn’t do any sort of rating at this time but I sure enjoyed jumping into a band’s catalog that would last a dozen hours or three hundred hours. Some of my favorites are AWOLNATION, 311, Bob Dylan, Hank Williams Sr., and Jr. plus the ferocity of Hank III, Cypress Hill, Pink Floyd, The Clash, Tupac, Sublime, Devin The Dude, Kendrick Lamar, CCR, Rancid, Tool, The Rolling Stones, Kid Cudi, Primus, Metallica, NIN, The Killers….to name a few. I have always been a fan of a variety of music but this grows and expands with each new album listened to. Whether it was just released or something created 50 years ago, first listen or 77th.
May,
I used to have a massive CD collection filled with rare stuff, double and triple copies of the same CD which seemed to delight some folks especially with me scratching compact disks on standard stereos. I owned multiple bands’ complete discographies. Mostly I bought used through Craigslist with maybe 40 new. When I sold the complete collection, we counted around 1,200 CDs. A nice fella who was a flea market reseller with a pick-up truck filled with oddities and bicycle parts, purchased the whole collection for about $1100.
Now, I work with stuff from the library with a focus on complete albums and full movies, of course. After hundreds of hours listening to complete discographies via Spotify, I was going old school.
April,
I used to be big into Spotify and YouTube, I would create playlists. For me,e they were DJ sets, recorded live, non stop with scratching and surprises. I was addicted to going to live concerts and playing with music. Really, I had a very small audience which included my kiddos, neighbors, and anyone within earshot plus I also had a handful of stragglers online. This was my audience and I commanded people’s attention. I felt what I was doing was important for me and anyone who would take a chance and listen.
After the accident I would spend most days in silence or lackadaisically staring into the television. After about 6 months I began to listen to music again.
March,
In late March 2022, I began taking pictures of all the DVDs and CDs that I borrowed from the library. Everytime I watched a movie or listened to an album, I would snap a picture with my phone. After a short while, I decided that I would rate every film I watched and every album I listened to.
NoRulezChris
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